Angled Bench Sins

CHANGE BLINDNESS is this crazy thing that your brain does, where it forgets everything that has just happened to it in an instant, because change has occurred, and, rather than inform you of what has happened, your brain lies and tells you that nothing has changed at all.

The two links above go to videos. Unfortunately the embed code had been removed, but please, so you can get a better idea of how faulty your brain is, check out both videos.

You MANeater!

Dearest blog readers,

My name is Dash. Let me begin by stating that I have a very foggy understanding of my parents lives from before the time I was four years old.

Some fun facts!

-My father was once a professional soccer goalie.

-My mother once claimed to have done Speed when she was hanging out with some bikers (for an undisclosed amount of time) and that it wa

s "no big deal".

-My stepfather has seen Einsturzende Neubauten in concert.

Anyhoo! I have recently acquired an mp3 which, at the EXACT SAME TIME, clears and confuses the lives of my family. The following paragraph is entirely based on what I can ascertain and glean, using my wits and imagination, about my heritage based on this mp3.

At some point in the winter of 1982, my mother and stepfather, and, PERHAPS, my father, were residing in the frozen college town of Ithaca, NY. Many of the residents of this town went to college, and the college radio station (WTKO) played nothing but sweet-ass '80s music...the best singles of the BEST singles. One of the local college DJs was named Ray Noone. The mp3 being presented to you, dear reader, is a recorded document of one Ray Noone, drunk as a skunk, broadcasting his final show of 1982. As the final half hour of that glorious year countdown, WITNESS (with your ears) a man being more awesome then you can imagine. I may never fully understand what my parents did with themselves in their "glory" days, but I DO KNOW that they listened to awesome music presented by bitchingly wasted disc jockeys. WITNESS (with your ears) the majesty that is RAY NOONE.

RAY NOONE!!!!!!!!!!!

A National Treasure...and here's the proof.

Big, big, BIG props to www.douglasburgdorff.com for hooking me up with these videos.

Crispy.

Crispin Glover is an American hero. Even though I don't need any examples to back up that statement, I feel compelled to present one. Enjoy.

-Dash

A National Treasure.

Ladies and Gentleladies. Nicolas Cage is a one of my favorite actors. I now present an IMDB journey of a man who has brought hours of joy to my life.

Valley Girl (1983) - I still haven't seen this. (EDIT: 1/10/09 - I have now seen this. It's great. Legitimately.)

Raising Arizona (1987) - Remember when you were laughing WITH Nicolas Cage and not AT him? A great film from the Coens and a really touching, funny performance from Cage.

Wild At Heart (1990) - Holy Moley. This is a David Lynch movie...and Nicolas Cage is the star. Do I need to say more? I do? Ok. This might be my favorite Lynch movie. Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern are crazy in love and they go on a road trip. Willem Dafoe and Crispin Glover are in this. CRISPY!! Jeez, just watch it already.

Red Rock West (1992) - This is a severely overlooked "neo-noir" movie featuring awesomeness from both Cage AAAAND Mr. Dennis Hopper. A real gem.

Leaving Las Vegas (1995) - A FUCKING Academy Award-winning performance.

The Rock (1996) - Ok. Here's where things start getting interesting. It's a common thing for an actor to follow up on an Oscar by doing a bad action movie or a bad thriller. Now, I don't think the Rock is a terrible movie, but it does set the stage for the second half of his career. I would say this is the tipping point. Every move Nicolas Cage makes from here on out is "Post-The Rock".

Con Air (1997) - The Second Act of his "I'm now a viable action star" trilogy. Insane cast. I just recently saw this for the first time with James (my friend!). Totally enjoyable for the type of movie that it is.

Face/Off (1997) - Here is where we reach critical mass. Nicolas Cage has more money than he knows what to do with. He's been pushed to the brink of madness. I think it was all those fake explosions that knocked a screw loose in his brain. Regardless, Cage becomes insanely more fascinating to me from now on.

City of Angels (1998) - And now I have that Goo Goo Dolls song in my head...

8MM (1999) - I'm pretty sure this is a legit thriller, but I haven't seen it in a very long time.

Adaptation. (2002) - Nicolas Cage is DOUBLE-compelling in this already compelling film by Charlie Kaufman. How he got inolved in this is beyond me, but that's where Charlie Kaufman lives...beyond us.

National Treasure (2004) - The second best franchise in recent memory. Cage acts really cagey (double meaning!) in this. It's a bad flick, but in a good way. I can't quite put my finger on why I enjoy it so much. Aside from the fact that the dude acts totally bonkers the whole way through and it's always entertaining.

The Weather Man (2005) - Gore Verbinski is a great director and NC is rather charming in this.

The Wicker Man (2006) - Not to be confused with The Weather Man. Not at all.

Ghost Rider (2007) - One of the worst movies ever made. Nic's madness is palpable while viewing this. He drinks a martini full of jellybeans!

Next (2007) - Horrible movie. AARGH! So bad. Good wig though. AARGH! Great wig.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) - Remember how bat-shit he was in the first movie. Multiply that by tweleventeen.

I haven't seen Bangkok Dangerous yet, but I will be reporting on it and whatever else Nicolas Cage does from here on out. I love this man.

THIS...

...is perhaps the greatest achievement in all of human history.



-Dash