In Which James Yells at Everyone About a Metal Band

So, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that most, if not all, of you reading this know that, I James H. Shafie the 1st, love metal. The aggression, the fervor, the loudness, the lyrics about death, Satan and victory! The fact that certain bands make me want to go out and kill everyone makes metal a very special and important part of my life. And I want to share it, with you!

Dashiell and I share a lot of similar music tastes. We've gotten each other into a lot of neat bands and artists. He showed me Liars and Fucked Up, for which I will be forever grateful. I showed him Bathory and The Legendary Pink Dots, and he better be damn grateful. One band that we both enjoy quite a bit is called Mastodon.


Mastodon! Click it.

Mastodon is a hard band to classify. They're sludgy, but melodic. Thrashy, but with weird ass drums. And they love not sticking to a specific sub-genre of metal. They definitely have an influence from Neurosis, and have used the vocal talents of Scott Kelly from said band. Check those guys out too.

I got into this band through their most famous album, "Leviathan". It's a concept album based on the novel "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville. yeah, you fucking read that right. An album about Moby Dick and it's sworn enemy Captain Ahab. I mean, that is pretty god-damned metal right?

Here are some sample lyrics:

Split your lungs with blood and thunder
When you see the white whale

Break your backs and crack your oars men
If you wish to prevail

This ivory leg is what propels me
Harpoons thrust in the sky

Aim directly for his crooked brow
And look him straight in the eye

White whale - holy grail

Mastodon's first release, "Lifesblood", has a very grindcore feel, fast, insane and like a punch in the head. Their first album, "Remission", is sludgy and heavy. "Leviathan" is, to me, their most solid album. Every song feels right, whatever the hell that means. And their newest release, the album "Blood Mountain" is their most melodic and most experimental. Lots of clean singing, so elitists beware!

Each album seems to coincide with one of the four (five if you're spiritual and lame [jk br0]) elements. Remission = Fire, Leviathan = Water and Blood Mountain = Earth. What;s their next album called you ask? "Crack the Skye" What element could that be referring to? WHO SAID "FARTS"?! Well Billy, the answer of "air" is half-right. It's supposedly going to be about "ether". We got some smarty/fancy-pants metalheads in this outfit. Lemme show you something about it from blabbermouth.net:

"We wanted to stick with elements and we wanted to do the 'ether' record. Ether is what the soul is made out of and it took a few months to connect all the dots." - Brann Dailor, drums.

Wowie. Also:

Dailor goes on to explain the "Crack The Skye" concept: "There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin's body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin's body through the crack in the sky(e) and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it's too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down…there are some obstacles along the way."

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! THAT IS THE MOST METAL IDEA FOR AN ALBUM OR ANYTHING EVER. OH MY GOD.

Ok, ok, I'm calm. But holy shit! I listened to the first single off the album today, and I must say I dig it. It's called "Divinations" and this is the cover art:

DO YOU SEE THIS?! This is why I love this fucking band. Sure, their music's heavy as shit and complex and great, but look at that!

There is a wizard, with laser beams coming out of his eyes, and four bears! Those of which seem to be on leashes being guided by said wizard.

In short, LASER WIZARD AND HIS BEAR COMPANIONS. My goodness, I think I just peed a little.

Mastodon is metal, and I know some of you do not like much, or any metal at all. But hear me out. Take a listen to some of their stuff on their last.fm page (I recommend the song "Naked Burn") and hear for yourself. You never know, you might dig it.

-James

Now playing: Divinity Destroyed - Like A Prayer (Madonna cover)

PS Here's them with Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Borat.