We're Friends (A Comic). #5!

Bigger will happen when you click on the comic.

Special guests: Tom "Skim Skam" Hansbury, Matt "Gregory" Gregory & Helen GREEEENE!

50th (maybe!) Blog Post!

How excit-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

However, something exciting did just happen! Dash Coombs, the more beardly one of the two of us, is now famous! Well, semi-famous. Ok, he's E-famous! Kind of? I'll just fucking tell you what happened.

He got to go see a screening of "Drag Me to Hell", the new Sam Raimi (Evil Dead series, Dark Man, Spider-Man series) horror flick. Hopefully it'll make up for all the wrong-doings that went on in Spider-Man 3. Anyhow, it got featured on the prestigious website Aintitcool! Here's da link:

CLICK

Woo woo! Go Dash!

Also, please go down one post, download the podcast, listen to it, email us what you thought (wearefriendspodcast@gmail.com) and then tell your friends. IN THAT ORDER.

-James

Now playing: Black Sabbath - Children of the Grave

[EDIT] Uhm, well Blogspot is lying to me one way or another. It tells me that we have 50 posts, but only 25 in 2008 and 17 in 2009? WHATEVER

Episode 9: Modeling, Prussia, Tattoos

Episode 9 is here everybody! CHECK IT OOOUUUUTT!!

CLICK ME FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Once again we are joined by our lovely friends, Matt Gregory and Tom Hansbury. Only this time we just bullshit like we usually do. Hooray! Enjoy everyone.

Music:

Big Black - "The Model"

Ebu Gogo - "The Rancher of Neverland"

Prince - "Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad?"

Billy Idol - "Rebel Yell"

Suicide at WTC - "Brevity"

This Place is Haunted - "Marble Madness (Everything You Know is Wrong)"

-Dash and James

In Which Dash Yells at Everyone About a Singer-Songwriter

So, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that most, if not all, of you reading this know that, I Dashiell O. Coombs the 1st, love folk music. The calm, the laid-backness, the hushed, the lyrics about death, insomnia and women! The fact that certain artists make me want to stay and smoke a doob makes folk a very special and important part of my life. And I want to share it, with you!
James and I share a lot of similar music tastes. We've gotten each other into a lot of neat bands and artists. He showed me Bathory and The Legendary Pink Dots, for which I will be forever grateful. I showed him Liars and Fucked Up, and I know he enjoys them. One musician that I recently got into is Nick Drake.

Nick Drake! Click it.

Nick Drake is an easy guy to classify. He's lilting and melodic. Whimsical with an edge. And he loves sticking to a specific mood. He's definitely had an influence on Robert Smith and

Badly Drawn Boy, and Heath Ledger recorded a song of Drake's for a tribute album. Check those guys out too.

I got into this guy through his most famous album, "Pink Moon". It's a concept album based on the novel "Pink Moon" by Bram Stoker. Yeah, you fucking read that right. An album about a pink moon and it's sworn enemy Captain Pink Moon. I mean, that is pretty god-damned folk right?

Here are some sample lyrics:

Pink moon gonna get you all

It's a pink moon

It's a pink, pink, pink, pink, pink moon.

Know that I love you

Know I don't care

Know that I see you

Know I'm not there.

Alright, I'm done ripping off James. I just got a hold of all three of Nick Drake's albums and I sincerely love all of it. I can't recommend them

enough.

In Which James Yells at Everyone About a Metal Band

So, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that most, if not all, of you reading this know that, I James H. Shafie the 1st, love metal. The aggression, the fervor, the loudness, the lyrics about death, Satan and victory! The fact that certain bands make me want to go out and kill everyone makes metal a very special and important part of my life. And I want to share it, with you!

Dashiell and I share a lot of similar music tastes. We've gotten each other into a lot of neat bands and artists. He showed me Liars and Fucked Up, for which I will be forever grateful. I showed him Bathory and The Legendary Pink Dots, and he better be damn grateful. One band that we both enjoy quite a bit is called Mastodon.


Mastodon! Click it.

Mastodon is a hard band to classify. They're sludgy, but melodic. Thrashy, but with weird ass drums. And they love not sticking to a specific sub-genre of metal. They definitely have an influence from Neurosis, and have used the vocal talents of Scott Kelly from said band. Check those guys out too.

I got into this band through their most famous album, "Leviathan". It's a concept album based on the novel "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville. yeah, you fucking read that right. An album about Moby Dick and it's sworn enemy Captain Ahab. I mean, that is pretty god-damned metal right?

Here are some sample lyrics:

Split your lungs with blood and thunder
When you see the white whale

Break your backs and crack your oars men
If you wish to prevail

This ivory leg is what propels me
Harpoons thrust in the sky

Aim directly for his crooked brow
And look him straight in the eye

White whale - holy grail

Mastodon's first release, "Lifesblood", has a very grindcore feel, fast, insane and like a punch in the head. Their first album, "Remission", is sludgy and heavy. "Leviathan" is, to me, their most solid album. Every song feels right, whatever the hell that means. And their newest release, the album "Blood Mountain" is their most melodic and most experimental. Lots of clean singing, so elitists beware!

Each album seems to coincide with one of the four (five if you're spiritual and lame [jk br0]) elements. Remission = Fire, Leviathan = Water and Blood Mountain = Earth. What;s their next album called you ask? "Crack the Skye" What element could that be referring to? WHO SAID "FARTS"?! Well Billy, the answer of "air" is half-right. It's supposedly going to be about "ether". We got some smarty/fancy-pants metalheads in this outfit. Lemme show you something about it from blabbermouth.net:

"We wanted to stick with elements and we wanted to do the 'ether' record. Ether is what the soul is made out of and it took a few months to connect all the dots." - Brann Dailor, drums.

Wowie. Also:

Dailor goes on to explain the "Crack The Skye" concept: "There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin's body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin's body through the crack in the sky(e) and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it's too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down…there are some obstacles along the way."

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! THAT IS THE MOST METAL IDEA FOR AN ALBUM OR ANYTHING EVER. OH MY GOD.

Ok, ok, I'm calm. But holy shit! I listened to the first single off the album today, and I must say I dig it. It's called "Divinations" and this is the cover art:

DO YOU SEE THIS?! This is why I love this fucking band. Sure, their music's heavy as shit and complex and great, but look at that!

There is a wizard, with laser beams coming out of his eyes, and four bears! Those of which seem to be on leashes being guided by said wizard.

In short, LASER WIZARD AND HIS BEAR COMPANIONS. My goodness, I think I just peed a little.

Mastodon is metal, and I know some of you do not like much, or any metal at all. But hear me out. Take a listen to some of their stuff on their last.fm page (I recommend the song "Naked Burn") and hear for yourself. You never know, you might dig it.

-James

Now playing: Divinity Destroyed - Like A Prayer (Madonna cover)

PS Here's them with Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Borat.

Webcomics: Part 2

So I HOPE you all have checked out the webcomic we here at We're Friends! have started. You have right? Why wouldn't you really, it's not like you're a jerk or anything. Well, if you have, you noticed how great it is. It stars the two of us, naturally, and we get into all sorts of wacky hijinks. However, there are other comics on the internet that are "great" too. Some may even say they are of the same calibur, or even better! These people need to be rounded up and thrown into wells. You can commence this action right away, bring a friend!

One of these webcomics is called Wondermark.

Click here!

A sample:

(Click to enlarge)

Now I bet, since you guys are such smarty-pants, that you've noticed that this comics looks, shall we say, different. You'd be right! The man who creates Wondermark, a fellow named David Malki!, takes pictures from the 1800s and early 1900s and creates tableaus such as this with them. What a lark!

He uses old catalogs, actual cartoons from that era and all sorts of books. I've actually watched him create one of these live (thank you INTERNET) and it's not as easy as it may sound. He either creates the joke/story before hand and has to find/modify the correct pictures to use. Or he finds some funny looking cartoons and creates a joke/story around them. Oh, he also can draw very well. So don't say this isn't a "valid" comic, because you read what I said about wells before.

The comic does not have any sort of continuity, and is extremely funny. No romance or human drama here, just a bunch of absurdity, humor and sometimes topical issues! I implore each every one of you to go check it out. And email him with a link to this blog so maybe he'll notice me and ask me to the dance.

-James

Now playing: Ulver - Your Call

Dash and James do things

Make your own at http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com

Also, Dash and I both have twitters! Follow us at:

https://twitter.com/JamesShafie

https://twitter.com/Dashiell

Steeeeeam Machiiiiiiine.

-James

Now playing: Daft Punk - Around The World / Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

HAH

-James

Now playing: Boards of Canada - Boqurant

Shin Sang-ok.

During the late 1950s and 1960s, Shin Sang-ok was a prolific South Korean filmmaker.

In 1978, he was kidnapped by the North Korean government and forced to make films for Kim Jong-il.

Sang-ok and his wife escaped in 1986 and fled to North America.

In 1995, Shin Sang-ok released the only 3 Ninjas movie to be rated PG-13: "3 Ninjas Knuckle Up"

This is an amazing story.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shin_Sang-ok

-Dash

SPECIAL EDITION PODCAST

Oh my goodness you guys, we have something super duper cool for you!

A SPECIAL EDITION PODCAST!

We are joined by two of our friends, Matt Gregory and Tom Hansbury. What makes this podcast special is the format we did it in, let us explain:

Each person comes up with an issue that is important to them. These issues can be political, economical or whatever. Abortion, candy or puppies, it's up to us. And each of us brings up the topic, we all discuss it for ten minutes and then we have to stop.

It was pretty neat! We hope you'll enjoy it. Also, you might have to turn up the volume a bit, getting good levels on four people is hard sometimes.

Click me!

Song: "Swing 47" - Django Reinhart

-James and Dash

Oh hey!

Sorry for the lack of anything people. We're Friends! is going through some changes, so just bear with us. Our voice is changing, there's hair in places where there wasn't and we have tentacles instead of toes. That's how I'm typing right now actually!

So just wanted to report on one or two things I've found on the internet.

1. Casu Marzu: Click here


Casu marzu (also called casu modde, casu cundhídu, or in Italian formaggio marcio) is a traditional sheep milk cheese, notable for being riddled with live insect larvae. Although outlawed there for health reasons, it is found mainly in Sardinia, Italy on the black market. Casu marzu literally means "rotten cheese" in Sardinian and is known colloquially as maggot cheese.

OH YES. MAGGOT CHEESE MOTHERFUCKERS. I don't know if I could ever actually try this, but people in Sardinia eat it all the time so what harm could it cause right? Yeah sure, and in ten years we'll hear news reports of giant fly-people buzzin' around and crapping everywhere. That's what you get for eating cheese that smells like dirty socks your husky was wearing!

Gordon Ramsay tried this on his show 'the F Word" and was told that no one can know the effects for like a while because it takes time for larvae to burrow, reproduce and eventually eat your intestine. It's like AIDS in that way.

2. Teen charged with assaulting mom with taco: Click here

What happened, basically, was some dumb kid wouldn't go to the dinner table because he wanted to keep playing X-Box. The mom, being the foolish mother she is, unplugs the system. The kid comes down, slaps her on the arm, and throws a taco on her. Sure, he's a dick, but she fucking calls the cops!

The kicker? [The Mother] called [the] cops and said she wants to press charges. [She] says [her son] has tried to call [her] several times, but she's not picking up the phone yet. She says she's going to let him sit in his jail cell in Volusia County for a few days to teach him a lesson.

Hah!

-James

Now playing: Devin Townsend - Kingdom

A National Treasure...and here's the proof.

Big, big, BIG props to www.douglasburgdorff.com for hooking me up with these videos.

We're Friends (A Comic). #4!

Click and it will get bigger!

Special guest: Frank the Cat.

Enjoy!

This makes the Jedi "religion" legitimate

So the coolest toy EVER is coming out! Gator Golf 2! USING REAL GATORS.

Just kidding guys, sorry. However, go ahead and make a Mr. Bucket toy using a real bucket.

Anyway, the greatest toy ever is this thing:

(No, not the child! Well, I think he's sold separately at least)

It's called the "Force Trainer". The WHAT. THAT'S RIGHT, STAR WARS IS REAL. No no, sorry everyone who reads this blog (mom), however it is pretty neat. I'll let USA Today explain:

The Force Trainer (expected to be priced at $90 to $100) comes with a headset that uses brain waves to allow players to manipulate a sphere within a clear 10-inch-tall training tower, analogous to Yoda and Luke Skywalker's abilities in the Star Wars films.

In the Force Trainer, a wireless headset reads your brain activity, in a simplified version of EEG medical tests, and the circuitry translates it to physical action. If you focus well enough, the training sphere, which looks like a ping-pong ball, will rise in the tower.

The article goes on to talk about another toy using this same technology, however without the Star Wars aspect. So what the hell is the point of making it? I ASK YOU.

Mind-control games may be the coming thing: Mattel plans to demonstrate a Mind Flex game (also due this fall), which uses brain-wave activity to move a ball through a tabletop obstacle course, at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas on Thursday.

My prediction? In fifteen years, video games won't need controllers anymore. It'll be all brain power. And I dunno about you, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I wouldn't play an online game with this technology. Then I'll get some hacker going in my brain and putting gigs of goatse, lemonparty and tubgirl jpegs, and NO ONE wants that.

Speaking of toys, listener and oft mentioned cool person, Josh "Raincoat" sent me this little goodie:


















That's an "AVENGING NARWHAL" killing some little seal. I have no idea why, but I'm assuming it has something to do with vengeance.

It comes with four tusks and four "Natural Enemies", a seal, a penguin and a god-damned Koala bear. Koala bears shouldn't mess with anything, especially a giant walrus thing with a giant ass bone sticking out of it's face.

Oh and each of these enemies comes with a hole where, as you can plainly see, shove one those tusks through it's unbelievably cute body.


















Do you see this shit?! The ruby tusk DRAINS YOUR FUCKING BLOOD. This is the most metal toy ever. Buy this for your little metalhead instead of that jewelery I showed you.

-James

Now playing: The Beach Boys - God Only Knows [Stereo Mix]

PS This album (Pet Sounds) owns my life.

"Bone Removal Procedure" sounds like a GBV song.

Got all four wisdom teeth removed today. Doctor said I could bring my iPod. So I did. Here's the songs on the mix I heard before the doctor finished.

"1999" by Prince - This played as the doctor began coating me with novocaine.

"I Feel It All" by Feist - Unbelievably this song started the moment the doctor began going to work on my first tooth.

"Play With Fire" by The Rolling Stones

"Ms. Jackson" by Outkast - Do you remember the first time you heard this song? Did you freak out as hard or harder then me?

"Didn't I Blow Your Mind" by the Delfonics - Wrap up song. Perfect thing to come on when the doctor said we were all done.

So yeah, wisdom teeth are history. I'm going to sit around eating soft solids and watching movies all day. Starting with blueberry yogurt and "Reign of Fire".

Black metal and jewelery, a match made in HELL?!

So, I was informed by my friend and guest on the We're Friends! podcast, Awesome, about an article on blabbermouth.net. Blabbermouth.net is essentially a news site for all things metal, with some hardcore, punk, industrial and hard rock thrown in too. It's known for belligerent comments from users, articles ranging from deaths of famous metal people to what Lemmy from Motörhead ate that week.

ANYWAY. I checked out this article and it said this:

New York jewelry designer Dirty Librarian Chains has released a super-limited line of handmade jewelry inspired by the "True Norwegian Black Metal" photography series from Peter Beste.

All Dirty Librarian Chains jewelry is made from hand-selected vintage chains, making each piece in this collection unique. There is a limited quantity of the "black metal" chains (a couple of sample images below) available here so get them before they are all sold out. Dirty Librarian Chains also has a collection of equally special, non-black metal jewelry available at this location.

Really? I mean, REALLY?! Look, for those of you who don't know much about black metal, it's a pretty silly genre. Lots of guys wearing leather, spiked gauntlets, bullet belts, black and white "corpse paint" and sometimes chain mail, heaving medieval weapons in snow covered forests. Lots of albums about satanism, Odinism, Lord of the Rings (no joke) and how cold Scandinavia is.

But jewelery? Well, all right. Everyone's allowed to do what they want right? Let's take a look at some of the pieces:

The ETERNAL WINTER NECKLACE

Cost: $100

I mean, this is a really uh...simple piece of jewelery. Long chain, wooden cross (INVERTED BLEEARRGGHH) and some frilly chain at the bottom. The cross isn't even a metal of some sort. Maybe using a wooden one is more blasphemous.

What does vintage mean exactly regarding chains? Is it like cheese and wine, where it can get "better" as the years go by? If you know, email us please. wearefriendspodcast@gmail.com

Honestly, I could buy a chain, a wooden little cross, and some frill and make this for like 25 bucks probably. This isn't silver by the way, just some regular old metal.


The DEATH'S EMBRACE RING

Cost: $30

Ok, this is wallet chain material. That's it. How is this black metal? Because it's darkish in color?

What else to say? It could've at least had a inscription of some Emperor lyrics or something. Probably couldn't get the rights.










The EMPTY THRONE NECKLACE (These names are fantastic, by the way)

Cost: $170 (!!!)

HOW MUCH?! Ok, ok, maybe there's something cool or expensive in the necklace.

Ohhh, it's silver. Well all right. But it still looks like fucking wallet chains. And this time the cross isn't even completely inverted? "Sorry Frank, you can't come into the black metal clubhouse, you're only 75% heathen." This is what will happen to millions of Franks if they buy this.

Also, what the hell does "Vintage chain will vary." mean? Does that mean I might get something not made of silver, or a chain of a different design? Maybe they'll send me a pink wallet chain! Too much vagueness.

So there you go. Black metal is now part of the fashion industry. Along with Gaahl (frontman of one of the two Gorgoroths [don't ask]) starting his own clothing line. Man, what would Quorthon (black metal forefather, leader of Bathory) think of this?

"Who cares?" he'd probably say.
"Shut up Quorthon", I'd reply, "you're dead."
Then I'd whisper, "I didn't mean it Mr. Forsberg, please sign my cd."
And then he'd eat my brains because he's a zombie.

-James

Now playing: The Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice [Stereo Mix]

We're Friends (A Comic). #3!

Click to make bigbig.

Special guest star: Awesome!

Ep. 7 - Color, Mothra, Magic

episode seven.......................CLICK HERE

Special Guest!  D'Arcy "Mothra" Sarnelle!

Music List:

"Ghost Ride It!" by Mistah F.A.B.

"I'm The Slime" by Frank Zappa

"Screaming Hand" by Jay Reatard

"Mr. Writer" by Stereophonics

"A Little Bit Cooler" by The Cool Kids

"Antarctica" by The Weepies